How to Fix Your Rejected Personal Statement for Abroad Studies

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It is not abnormal for a personal statement or statement of purpose to get rejected or queried by an admission committee. And sincerely, you shouldn’t sweat yourself crying over spilt milk if you receive a query, rather, you should focus your energy on how to fix your rejected personal statement.

When applying for university admission, you’re often required to either submit a statement of purpose or personal statement; the idea behind the statement is to uncover your passion and ideas to show that you have thoroughly considered your future goals and how studying at the university for that particular program will benefit you.

While some schools go ahead to state exactly what they expect you to cover in your statement, some others leave it to your discretion. So, it is important that you put into consideration the right combination of skills, experiences, qualifications, and passion that will make you worthy of a place in the program. That said, also note that, if one school values particular information in your personal statement, it is most likely that another school will also value the same or similar information. That means; even though your school of choice doesn’t outline the specific expectations for your personal statement, you can model yours using the outline of similar schools in the same country.

What is a Personal Statement for Abroad Studies?

 While different schools use different terms to refer to the document that explains your decision to study in their school, it is important to note that most times, the expectations are usually the same. So, whether the school uses the term statement of purpose, letter of interest, interest letter, letter of intent, motivation statement etc, the expectations are always the same and hidden in this question – “WHY SHOULD WE TRUST YOU TO JOIN OUR PROGRAM?

A personal statement is an essay that explains your position, defines your ambitions, and why you’re interested in the particular academic journey you want to embark on. It also covers

  • Why do you think you’ll make a good student.
  • How do you plan on funding your studies?
  • How you plan to utilize the degree to help the school as an alumnus and the impact it’ll have on your homeland.

Personal Statement vs. Statement of Purpose

The differences between these documents are not much, as a matter of fact, the words are used interchangeably just like you have “resume and CV”, “engineering and technology”.  As such, they usually come through with similar expectations.

That said, one difference has been identified as the focus. While a personal statement focuses more on growth/ evolution of interest, a statement of purpose focuses more on your skills and academic training received.

Note: Since essays are not “one size fits all”, it is possible to write a statement of purpose and discover that it looks like a personal statement and vice versa. In that case, don’t sweat it, just focus on covering the relevant information needed, and your statement will do just fine.

You can read more about the differences between a personal statement and a statement of purpose.

Why do Personal Statements Get Rejected?

There are so many reasons why a personal statement can get rejected, instead of listing them all out here, we will focus our energy on how to fix your rejected personal statement.

Nevertheless, amongst the multiple reasons why a personal statement gets rejected, the most important takeaway is that; if an admission committee is comfortable with your academic background but not satisfied with your application. In that case, you could be sent a mail with a conditional admission instructing you to submit a new personal statement that will address the areas they have more information.

How to Fix Your Rejected Personal Statement (or Queried)

If a university queries your personal statement, they usually outline the areas they are uncertain about your application and allow you to resolve their doubts. Most times these queries come with little time for you to spend composing your feedback.

We have come across a lot of clients with this challenge and we’ve helped them compose better statements that covered all the important areas of interest to the adcom. Though we would be glad to help you sort your queried personal statement, we understand that we can’t work with everyone. Hence, we have put together this guideline to help you “DYOR” if that is what you prefer.

Personal Statement Service
Personal Statement/SOP/Letter of Intent Writing Service – Hire Our Experts

What do you do when your personal statement is queried?

So, the first thing you do when you get a conditional admission, or a queried personal statement, what you do is to first understand the areas the admission committee is interested in you shedding light on and ensure you work it out to clear their doubts.

  1. Do not panic: Most times, a conditional admission comes with a personal statement query, the school only wants you to go through their “how to write a personal statement” page on their website and ensure you cover the important information listed there.
  2. Visit the school’s “how to write a personal statement” page on their website: Read through their demands or expectations, then check the personal statement you submitted to see the areas you didn’t cover.
  3. Outline the areas where you did not cover: Doing this will make you alert when rewriting the personal statement to ensure you don’t miss anything this time around.
  4. Break your personal statement into sections/paragraphs: Use the requirements from the school website to create an outline that you’ll follow while writing your new statement. Follow through the outlined paragraph by paragraph.
  5. Ensure you cover everything even if it is with one sentence: Don’t leave any stone unturned.
  6. Be careful: Well, your first submission has been queried so it is likely that you’ll fret and what to over impress. While that is not also bad, you need to know that the admission committee is less interested in whom you think they want you to be. Their interest is in who you are, so ensure your show them your uniqueness.
  7. Get extra help: After writing, you can use the help of a friend, colleague, or sop expert to proofread. Using friends and colleagues is fine as they would help you check through for grammar and typos. However, sop experts go beyond that because they have years of experience doing this for successful clients, they would easily decipher areas where you need to sound more convincing or where you need to spend less writing space. If you would like to use our professional personal statement writing service, you can contact us today.
  8. Proofread again, and again: This is a second chance, make it count. Don’t be lazy, be open to new ideas until you’ve hit the submit button.
  9. Be positive: After doing the hard work, don’t be against yourself, hope for the best.

Sample Queried Personal Statement Requirements

Here’s a screenshot from a conditional admission that required the submission of a new personal statement.

Expectations from BCU for a Rejected Personal Statement for Abroad Studies

Sample Revised Personal Statement

After going through the school requirements for a personal statement, we created an outline that helped us work on her statement so it doesn’t miss any important expectations. For the sake of this post, we left the sample with headers so you have an idea of what each paragraph covered or tries to answer. If you need assistance with yours, quickly contact us today.

Personal Statement for Project Management Birmingham City University

Introduction/Talk About Yourself

I first gained field exposure in Project Management back in 2008 when I started an ice block production business. Managing resources and personnel to execute planned projects efficiently and in time required both a theoretical and practical knowledge of project management, so I began to learn about the rudiments of project management.

Relevant Academic Or Work Experience

As indicated in my CV, I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Industrial and Labour Relations in 2006. Undergraduate modules such as Introduction to personnel management, Introduction to Accounting and Methods of Social Research provided much-needed background in resources/project management. After my graduation, I enrolled in a one-year mandatory National Youth Service program in Nigeria which helped me develop some of my pre-employment competencies. Upon conclusion of my service, I ventured into entrepreneurship; starting my own business which I have been running successfully to date. However, since I was bootstrapping my business, growth and expansion required more funds, so, I decided to seek employment opportunities to raise more money to fund my business.   

I secured my first employment as a Field Sales Supervisor where I worked for 2 years. Next, I moved to Meyer PLC- a paint manufacturing company. It was at Meyer PLC that I took a keen interest in projects and how they were executed. Though I was a Senior Sales Executive at Meyer PLC, my involvement with the company’s projects helped me to understand that project management exceeded Engineering. For example; a Project Manager is expected to be involved in logistics, budget management, and also have some sales skills to get investors to understand the benefits and importance of a project. So, I began to see an intimate relationship between project management and my academic and career background. I faced serious health challenges in my last pregnancy which forced me to resign from my job as I was hospitalized for a major part of my trimesters.  

Your Passion And Motivations

Since the birth of my last child, I have recovered my health, and I am ready to return to corporate employment. However, my interest is now channelled to Project Management, and I am eager to explore higher education first before seeking career opportunities in this field. My passion for this course is not only limited to the new career path I want to pursue in project management, I am also motivated by the opportunities to explore the knowledge gained in specific future business expansion.

Why This Course?

I understand that project managers bring in fresh perspectives for maximizing efforts to deliver outputs; hence, by educating myself in this program, I would be arming myself with specific insights in quality control and risk management that will be beneficial for organizational projects.

Why Birmingham City University

I have chosen to study at Birmingham City University, because of the reputation that this university offers. After careful consideration of this MSc program, the endorsement by the Association of Project Management and the Project Management Institute, and the course modules cemented my decision to study at BCU. I am particularly interested in learning about international operations and logistics, international business and marketing, and procurement and contract law. I am certain that by the time I will conclude my studies, I would have developed the knowledge and skills that will define my success.

What Makes You A Good Postgraduate Candidate?

After rigorous academic training from my years of undergraduate studies, I have fully absorbed the values that will make me excel in any academic environment. More so, I enjoy resource management because of the role it plays in business growth. I already have 12 years of experience successfully managing and growing a medium scale business that requires involved procurement and logistics, resource management and marketing. Also, during my days in Meyer Plc, I lead projects and saw them to completion with the help of my teammates thereby learning the importance of teamwork, time and financial management. My commitment to excellence, integrity and collaborative approach to help deliver projects got me some recommendation letters and promotions. So I believe my experience will be an asset to my class.

Future Goals

I will appreciate the opportunity to gain professional placement in a business inclined city in the UK, so I am excited that I would have the opportunity to join a reputable organization during my two years post-study stay in the United Kingdom. This will allow me to garner enough field experience to complement my classroom learning, which will be a valuable asset when I return to my home country to pursue a career in project management and also earn my certification as a project management professional. In the long run, I also look forward to expanding my business presence, and the achievement of this degree will play an important role. 

How You Plan To Finance Your Studies

Concerning my tuition, I plan on settling my fees from my savings; I a business that earns me an average of xxx monthly. So, I am well prepared for the financial commitments that are involved. I look forward to joining the next class of students for this program.

Thank you for considering my application.  

So, there you have it; how to fix your rejected personal statement. Thank you for taking out the time to go through this article, feel free to contact Fasthire if you need assistance with your statement. You can also share this with someone who has a conditional admission and needs a revised personal statement to make a stronger case. Remember, sharing is caring.

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Richard Okiasi

I started Fasthire in 2019 with the goal of helping young professionals bridge the gap between their current position and their dream careers. Through my growth process, I have worked with clients from different parts of the world. By writing CVs, Personal/Statement of Purposes, optimizing LinkedIn profiles, I have discovered certain things that make candidates successful in their job or school application. We share all the relevant information here. Do well to drop your thoughts about our content and also share with your loved ones. If you need our service, send us a mail to